2008年8月25日

About rehabilitation & "institutionalized"

Red recollecting AndyWhen I pictured him heading south in his own car with the top down, it always made me laugh.Sometimes it made me sad though…Andy being gone. I have to remind myself that some birds aren’t meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up does rejoice. But still the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they’re gone. I guess I just miss my friend.About rehabilitationYour files say you’ve served 40 years of a life sentence. You feel you’ve been rehabilitated?Rehabilitated? Well, now, let me see. I don’t have any ideas of what that means.It means that you are ready to rejoin society.I know what you think it means, sonny. To me it’s just a made-up word. A politician’s word so that young fellas like yourself can wear a suit and a tie and have a job. What do you really want to know?Am I sorry for what I do?Are you?There’s not a day goes by I don’t feel regret. Not because I am in here or because you think I should. I look back on the way I was then…a young stupid kid who committed that terrible crime. I want to talk to him. I want to try and talk some sense to him. Tell him the way things are. But I can’t. That kid’s long gone…and this old man is all that’s left. I got to live with that. Rehabilitated? It’s a bull-shit word. So you go on and stamp your forms, sonny, and stop wasting my time. Because to tell you the truth, I don’t give a shit.About institutionalizedHe’s just institutionalized. The man’s been in here 50 years,In here, he’s an important man…an educated man. Outside, he’s nothing. Just a used-up con with arthritis in both hands. Probably couldn’t get a library card if he tried. You know what I’m trying to say?I do believe you’re talking out of your ass.You believe whatever you want. But I tell you these walls are funny. First you hate them. Then you get used to them. Enough time passes…you get so you depend on them. That’s institutionalized.

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